In honor of President Obama's second State of the Union address - and his general badass-itude - we decided it was high time for a (long overdue) Obama TID. How did we let this one slide for such a long time? Unlike many Americans, we never lost hope in our president - but, like many Americans, we were apparently complacent in not vocalizing our undiluted and enduring admiration for the leader of the free world.
Cailey: I feel like a horrible citizen. Obama's speech in Tuscon made me cry.
Liz: No, that makes you a GOOD citizen. One who listens to the wisdom of the president - and even more basically than that, one who understands that our prez is a very, very, very smart guy who's thinking outside the box as much as he can when it comes to solving the world's problems. He's doing his best and his best is 99.999% better than everyone else's best combined.
Cailey: I know, but everything seemed so right when he was elected. It was like the end of a really good movie when the bad guys lost and FINALLY the music swelled and a fantastic speech was given and we faded to black to let Barack do his job.
Liz: And we didn't realize that the Tea Party had started filming the sequel until it was too late to make changes to the script.
Cailey: EXACTLY. We LET "Obamacare" become a word in the lexicon. We LET Sarah Palin get all this clout. We the Polite Progressives went back to our lives and allowed a lot of shit to go down while we concerned ourselves with other things...like our jobs, families, novels, screenplays, paintings, fancy Sunday night dinner recipes, inventions, new ventures and projects...our LIVES, in a nutshell.
Liz: And we repent.
Cailey: Oh, BOY do we repent.
Liz: Time to get back on the bandwagon?
Cailey: YES. Pour me a glass of the Kool-Aid and let me dig out my campaign buttons and tee shirts.
Liz: For our part, we'll do our part...starting with writing a good, old fashioned scenario in which a potent force of good (President Obama) comes into contact with a force of evil (a vile and grotesque Nazi flag) and vanquishes it. As it should be, now and forever.
Cailey: You know he would take down that flag.
Liz: With a vengeance.
Cailey: Even in a room full of villainy...
Liz: I'm gonna just spout some villain-sounding names here...feel free to jump in. Rush?
Cailey: Sarah?
Liz: Laura?
Cailey: Ann?
Liz: Glenn?
Cailey: Bill?
Liz: Newt?
Cailey: Michele B. (definitely not Michelle O. - she's strictly in the "heroine" camp)
Liz: Reince?
Cailey: Well...we don't really know anything about Reince yet. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
Liz: Yes. We're civil creatures. We'll give Reince a chance to show his smarts.
Cailey: His name does make him sound like a Harry Potter character, as various folks have observed since his election.
Liz: But is he a Slytherin or a Gryffindor? We'll have to wait and see...
Cailey: You know who is without a doubt a Gryffindor?
Liz & Cailey: OBAMA.
Liz: Although he does have a touch of the Ravenclaw.
Cailey: Very true. OK - enough hypothetical sorting hat fun. Let's get down to business!
Liz: It's hours before the State of the Union, and Obama has a last minute meeting with some GOP bigwigs to discuss some of the points he will be raising in his address, arguably the most important one since he took office. The folks on the other side of the aisle have some qualms about some of the things they think will be in the speech...
Cailey: He strides into the Roosevelt room, full of purpose. Is anyone even going to listen to Paul Ryan's rebuttal? Doubtful. And they REALLY won't listen to Michele Bachmann's own rebuttal speech...I mean, the nerve of her...
Liz: Many of the various aformentioned, um, villains (not really) are already present.
Cailey: And you know what else is present, covering - covering I say! - the portrait of Teddy Roosevelt gallantly seated astride his horse?
Liz: NO! It couldn't be...could it?
Cailey: YES! Indeed such wretchedness has indeed invaded the White House itself. Teddy R. is grotesquely obscured by a Nazi flag.
Liz: The other people in the room have noticed it, but they don't know what to do.
Cailey: Of course they don't! It's Glenn Beck vs. Flag: The Redux.
Liz: They look at him awkwardly.
Cailey: He looks at them, frowning. Is this a joke? Do they think this is funny? This is no behavior for the People's House.
Cailey: Mitch McConnell is quick to point out that the flag was there when they arrived. They did not put it there. They had nothing to do with it being there.
Liz: To which President Obama replies dryly: "Well, Mitch. Why is it still there?"
Cailey: [crickets]
Liz: None of them tore it down. For various reasons. Couldn't reach. Were too old. Didn't want to. The list of excuses goes on...as usual.
Cailey: And now Obama has to - once again - clean up another huge mess not of his own making.
Liz: Despite the obviousness of what needs to be done (TEAR IT DOWN), he will surely be blamed by at least some portion of the American population for how he handled this situation. Was it a violation of the First Amendment? Is this all part of an evil "socialist" plot?
Cailey: But that's what comes with the territory - the presidential territory. Obama knows what the situation calls for. He's a great thinker and a great orator, but this is not the time for such things.
Liz: The thinking and the speaking will come later.
Cailey: Now - armed with a strong sense of common decency - and knowing that "the forces that divide us are not as strong as those that unite us" and that we are united against hatred, bigotry and tyranny...
Liz: Obama tears it down!
Cailey: The GOP leadership watches in mute astonishment as he rips the vile flag to pieces - Michelle isn't the only one with strong arms - and tosses it in the wastebasket.
Liz: He briskly brushes his hands off, carefully centers the picture of Teddy Roosevelt and turns calmly to face his guests.
He's definitely not phoning it in tonight...
Cailey: "Now, my colleagues," he declares, "what seems to be the problem?"
Liz: They're awestruck.
Cailey: Their agenda - getting the President to talk about the GOP's futile attempt to repeal Health Care - seems moot in the face of such a fantastically brave and decisive act.
Liz: The President looks all of them in the eye, one by one, taking the time to stare deep into their psyches.
Cailey: He wants them to remember this moment - to be inspired by doing the right thing for the right reasons.
Liz: And not the right WING things for the VOTES reason.
Cailey: Indeed.
Liz: He begins to speak, his voice calm and reasoned, smooth and practiced.
Cailey: "Make no mistake" he begins, "even in trying times such as these, the purest and most basic tenets of right and wrong must stand. We must defend the correct course of action with our innermost hearts, Though there is the blurry, murky space between the side of good and the side of evil in many day-to-day matters, in certain situations we must remember that there is only one course of action.
If an old man with a walker falls down in the middle of a busy crosswalk - you run and help him up, no matter what. This is the only appropriate course of action.
If a child playing on the lawn is bitten by a dog, you assist no matter what. This is the only appropriate course of action.
If you see something on fire, you assist no matter what. This is the only appropriate course of action.
And when you encounter a symbol of pure hatred - a mark that represents the genocidal intentions of a group of sick and depraved leaders - when that symbol is in your own abode and there against your will - you do not hesitate to remove the grotesque thing. And if that symbol represents everything that you are not - everything that you could never be - you take the opportunity to destroy it. And you relish the act of destruction. Because in one small battle - for one brief, shining moment - you were victorious.
That, my friends and colleagues, is The. Only. Course. Of. Action."
Liz: I can't wait for the speech now. It's going to be so good. I miss his soaring rhetoric. I want to be inspired.
Cailey: Inspire me! INSPIRE ME! INSPIRE US!
Liz: In the meantime...to tide us over until the speech starts...enjoy watching The Rock Obama:
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